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| VC ssn. 2 epi. 1 |
"Gord damn it, motherfreakin' sucks!" Rod growled. They set off into the sea three months before, and haven't seen land since then. They were growing impatient. Rod wouldn't stop ranting about how the sea is too big, and that someone should do something about it. "The sea is a waste of freakin' space! Why the hell is it even here?! And who the hell thought of making a sea anyway?! I wanna speak to that person!" Adamania was in the corner, curled up.. Crying. "I wanna see land! Wah!!! Where The frik is everything?!" Vergil was in the corner next to him doing something... obsurd... Kiwi was arguing with himself.. But himself was a talker, so he was actually listening to himself. He couldn't get a word in edge wise... Jeresmartass was the calmest. He was looking into the sea, searching for civilization.
"Fuck! Jeresmartass, i thought you was smart! Where the hell is civilization?!" Rod screamed. "Damn Rod! Shut your damn mouth! Im looking! Isn't that good enough?!" Jeresmartass reacted. Adamania saw, and he started running in circles. "Why can't we get along?!" He screeched. "Shut the hell up!" Rod and Jeresmartass yelled simotaneously. After about thirty minutes of constant slapping, Kiwi jumped up and started dancing. "What's the freakin' matter with you?!" Rod asked viciously. "La-la-land!!!!" He whispered.
As they got off their fat boat, Kiwi, Vergil and Adamania began humping the land, while Rod and Jeresmartass looked at them in disgust. "Rod, while these imbesils are fucking the land, let's have a look around." Jeresmartass suggested. Rod nodded, and they walked into the vast wasteland. There seemed to be no sign of life. No tree's. Just sand. They saw a small river. "Who's that?" Rod whispered. They saw a man walking across the river. "Let's ask him where we are.." Jeresmartass said. They walked up to the man. He looked like he was in his sixties. He was very wrinkled, had a large beard, and was wearing a leather vest and a pair of leather pants with a big hole cut in the crotch. Luckily, he was wearing spandex under the leather pants. He had a ten gallon hat on. "Hey, Mr., do you by chance know where the hell we are?" Rod asked impatiently. The old man gave him a strange look, and yelled, "Food!"
When the gay parade of land humping ended, they were disoriented. "Wheres Rod and Jeresmartass?" Kiwi asked himself. Adamania began to scream. "Holy poop! We gotta go find them!" "We gotta go in there?" Vergil complained. "But.. I want to hump the ground some more..." Vergil whined more. "No! We got to find them." Kiwi yelled. They began their search.
Back at the river, the old man had already knocked out Rod and Jeresmartass, and two others had came. "Now, i say, since there is more meat on the fat one, we eat him. The skinny one can be our sex slave!" One of the men yelled happily. "No! Think about this.. The fat one doesn't look very healthy.." The other argued. "Well, the skinny one isn't much better!" Another butted in.
"Rod!!!" Adamania screamed. They saw a river from afar, and seen Rod and Jeresmartass lying down, and three men standing next to them. "Oh my Gord! They killed them!" Kiwi cried. "You bastards!" Vergil yelped. "Wait... I actually have... A good idea!" Adamania whispered.. Kiwi and Vergil looked in amazement. "Now, listen, my balls o' firecrackers will..."
Rod and Jeresmartass began to awaken, and they saw the men talking. "I think we should kill the fat one for food and use the skinny one for sex." One of the men said. Rod and Jeresmartass stayed still. They didn't want to get raped. "Wait!" One of the men whispered.. "What was that?!" A small popping noise was heard. "You two go check it out!" The first old man whispered to the others.
"That guy sucks! Why do we work for him?!" One of the men said as they walked towards the strange noise. "I don't know but-" He was interrupted by Vergil jumping from behind a rock. "Taste my cold black and blue with a little bit o' brONZE steel, you vicious fiends!" Vergil missed by a long shot, but the old men began laughing. They couldn't stop. "Oh... Hahaha! Muhaha! Oh my..." They eventually exploded. "Now, time for the next one.."
"Where are them two dumbasses?!" The old man said, growing impatient. "We destroyed them!" Kiwi screamed at the man. The man just looked i disgust. "Sure, them two are stupid, but you think you can handle the Kolbinator?" He said. Kiwi twitched, then passed out. Adamania jumped out and said, "I can-" But was interrupted by himself passing out. Vergil was the last standing. He wanted to fit in, so he fell as well. Rod and Jeresmartass were completely awake now, but stayed idle. The man tossed them all in his wagon, and set off. Jeresmartass and Rod began whispering. "Okay, when we get to wherever we're going, we are going to sneak out of here... Hopefully, these idiots will be awake by then.." Rod said quietly as they went into the vast land.
Next time on VC!
1. Where are they going?
2.Will they escape?
and 3. What is up with these people?!
Be prepared for more VC next week!
Special thanks : To the readers.. Especially the critics.. And others..
this is edited. My other version was too vulgar.
Blog Category: Writing and Poetry
Current mood: creative
Added on: 22/01/2008 16:29:05
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