so, i guess i gave up. the awkward feeling i got when talking to my now ex bf faded, and i decided that all the things i thought before him, are still there, and i all i got was gain from him, and he probably saved me alot of hurt by being honest with me. he saved me from a repeat of an old bf.i also decided, that, if there is someone for me like every stupid shojo manga tells you, that i'll find him eventually, and there is nothing wrong with having a list of failed attemps at love. what is life but failed attemps and a success once in a blue moon? now, i dont want to b told im morbid, that, that kind of outlook on life is disgusting becas i dont think it is. so anyway, i took off the necklace he gave me for christmas, and i put it away, in a place thats special to me, and secret enough for my liking. have you ever smelt the scent of old cigars long since taken out of their box, mixed with the scent of wood, and clearwater perfume, and the slightest hint of blood. its stomach turning at the same time its delicious. i suppose it would seem morbid, that my poor old necklace is locked away with old memories, and wishes, but it wont fade. i'll relive its memeories, always. no matter how morbid it is.
really it is comforting when your room, is filled with the intoxicating scent of over remembered memories.
~NL~
Blog Category: Life
Reading (Books): a great and terrible beauty
Current mood: thoughtful
Added on: 05/02/2007 21:17:39
|
