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Read this. It may tell you something new and i hope it will help you in every problems you may have.
I'm sure you all heard some dumbass fuck asking you if you really know your true self.
I'm sure all those fucks didn't even know who their true selves are.
I do.
I know who i really am, and i'm not just telling you this to prove i'm better than you or something like that, i'm telling you this because if i was able to do it, you may be able to do it too. if you're interested in being better than you already may be of course.
Whether you like it or not, we all are consequences of the things we see and live, no matter how special you may be, we are all a product of the society we live in. The thing is that some of us are able to relatively control that awful influence.
Have you stoped to think about the one you really are? about the things and shit you do, you did and you're about to do? about the influence you have in others, about the influence they have in you, when you wake up, do you smile when looking into the mirror?
We all do need to find our true selves. You may don't like who you really are, but if you don't like it, start by admiting it, stop hiding it and prove yourself you can change. I only say this refering to the negative aspects you may find in your personality. The other things were borned within you and you must embrasse them as your most precious value.
Most people don't even know what they really like to do, and that does not mean they don't like to do shit, it means they don't know their true selves.. i know most of you don't know what you're going to do next. You must find yourself because the world you see, it is the world that the you are allowed to see.. i believe you know this but i also know you do nothing about it..
The quest for yourself may make you feel even worst, but if you get to like the things you will see, you will no longer feel like walking, you will feel like flying.
Learn to control yourself, learn to control others reactions and you'll understand society, you'll laugh at it.
Then start to ask yourself about everything, start to search the answers deep inside you, but don't search too much the things that hurt you.. (stuff that hapened in your past that you dislike) that stuff should be saved for last because you'll need to be a master of yourself to understand the answers you'll find.
All the questions you'll do are tests. You can make many kind of tests.
Now i'll talk you about the ones i did and hope they'll help you.
1. I'm always searching the answer for everything.
2. I study my reactions and other peoples reactions to the things i say and do(so i've learned to really get what i want)
3. The usage of a supreme psychological drug. The most risky thing i have ever done.
I can say i was pretty sure i knew myself for an year or two. But we must always think that the reason may not be in our hands so i always saved the possibility that i was being fooled by a higher bastard.
So i heard about the ultimate test. A psychological drug called m.d. developed for treating pacients with extreme levels of depression. When taken the drug releases an huge amount of "happyness" and you feel great for a cupple of hours. Despite this, the side effects were colossal resulting in many pacients suicides because the post drugging period left them exausted entering a deeper state of depression. This drug was abandoned.
Now it's considered illegal and extremely dangerous beacuse it was studied and improved. Besides the things i just told you about, the drug, if you know what you're doing, gives you access to the rest of your personality and inteligence. Your true self.
I had to tryed it out, it would be my ultimate test. I could feel like shit because i would find out i was like the most of you or i could find out that the thinks i knew about me was true and i got to them all by myself.
Yesterday i took it.
I never felt so calm in my whole life. I was untouchable. Everything in me have reached a balance. I discovered i still am my own god and i discovered my only problem.
(not going to tell you about it because it won't add anything to you.. you can ask me about it though..)
I am not telling you to do the same i did because it's too risky..
But search your true self because you may not be living what you could be living..
When reaching the level i am about to reach think about this: Sometimes happiness is better than inteligence. But it must be you the one to choose between one and the other.
[ ]
In fact i thought about it better and i don't think that in the end you'll have to chose between one and the other. That would make things pretty bad wouldn't it? thinking that in the end of the road we would have to accept the damned fate or turning back choosing happiness. Pretty stupid think to say.. it isn't true.
In a certain stage we know ourselves so well that we can find the energy to recharge our streangths and beliefs inside us. So the confidence we'll feel in ourselves shall always bring happiness.
The fact that we may see things better will make us see fucked up things, but we will already be able to handle with them so everything will be fine.
Blog Category: Life
Playing (Music): Against Me!
Current mood: What do you think?
Added on: 31/07/2006 10:11:35
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