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break out tha sewing machine
i suppose i over reacted last time. becas now things aint bad. i saw him yesterday, and had a great time. his brothers fiance had a baby (his nephew), and it is fucking adorable for a baby. (i dont usually think that) my mother wants to read my blog......um no.
okei but really tho i am a lot happier than usual. ALOT. lol
more peace to ya
im off to church
~!NL!~
Blog Category: Life
Playing (Music): gona turn on POD
Current mood: loved
Added on: 12/08/2007 07:35:09
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bring on the seam rippers
just as soon as i start to feel better somehow bad things start happening. i liked this kid, my sister was clean, i was getting along with people i hate. and now. he still loves his ex, she wants to get high, and the bitch down the street is taking our stuff out of my crib. i know its self absorbed and morbid but y is it always like this? fuck i wish i was more conceited so i could fuck ppl ovr for my own happy dappy self more mutha fuckin often. this is a fucking circle, im starting to wish none evr talked to me or was nice to me so i could just hate everyone. but i kno i dont rly want that. and yet i do
i make no sense
im on my rag and i rly dont feel good.
life sucks
~NL~
Blog Category: Life
Playing (Music): just listening to the rain outside
Current mood: lonely
Added on: 09/08/2007 13:23:59
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insomnia sucks for a hypersomniac
so i've been trying to get to sleep since 11:30pm and im getting annoyed. i like to sleep, alot. and i just cant. i lay there and i want to move, but im tired and cant. and im cold so i put a blanket on but its smothering, so i ditch it. then the way im laying its right. and it feels like stuff is crawling on me, and then its like i've got all my hair in my face but i brushed it all back. and my stomache hurts. and im twitching. and i want to read and not read. and my mind wont work or shutdown.
then my sister calls me ofically waking me out of a mild state of almost semi sleep and her mumma interupts and she hasnt called me back. and the worst part is
she rly wants to get back on dope, she wants to feel the feeling of being high, and now that she said that i dont know if i'll ever be able to sleep.
i figure i mite as well keep this going i mean what else can i do i am bored and tired and unable to sleep.
im listening to the offspring on youtube, and picking at the dandriff in my hair, which needs redyed. right now its a rly crappy faded purple oh yip. my other is watching like golden girls or something on lifetime it has betty white in it i think. its ok i gues, but kinda random. i could watch it, but its odd to listen to it and the offspring at the same time. which has just turned into bush and the nanny. wtf is with these bad tv music combos? great now im watching a fly clean itself i am bored.
i was cleanign my room today which was somewhat intresting. i found a shitload of stuff i hadnt seen in ages, mostly old note books and drawings and notes from people i'd rather not remember.
i finished reading Crank to my one friend and am now reading her White Oleander. Im also in the process of reading her The Perks of Being a Wallflower. well im goign to end this seeing as i now have to go find a ziplock baggy for a huge bag of goldfish that my sister opened.
g'nite
~NL~
Blog Category: Life
Playing (Music): random shit on youtube
Current mood: awake
Added on: 09/08/2007 00:18:07
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going insane yet again
so, i rly like him alot, and im willing to lie about his age and evn about how i feel about him jst to b able to c him. im willing to lie about how sane i am and yet let him no evrything. im willing to do things i nvr would before and im willing to be fine with that.
and i know that if it all works out i'll b alot better than i am currently. i know that with him i wont b scared or alone.
but i also know that if it doesnt i could be potentially worse off. and im willing to take that chance.
but it still freaks me out and sometimes i think the ability to fall in love should b geneticly removed at birth.
Blog Category: Life
Playing (Music): the bleeding-five finger death punch
Current mood: anxious
Added on: 07/08/2007 14:26:28
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