chalk up another "?"
so my boyfriend and i had been dating for almost a year, at first i was kinda, flirty, i admit it was wrong, but he loved me and stuck by me (i was still messed up from a previous break up and was having way too much fun with being a slut). After dumping him, he stil loved me and we got together behind my new boyfriends back (not in a slutty way, in a romantic way), anyway for a long time i tld him i couldnt say i loved him cas i didint yet, after about 6 months or maybe 5 i decided i loved, him. i hadnt cheated on him or ne thing, i met his parents he met mine. everything seemed awesome, he didnt mind me being 'crazy' he said it was hott. he loved my imperfections which was awesome (i am little but) and i loved everything about himt ho my friends thought he was a geek. so i started hanging him out with my homies cas i loved um both. everything was normal, he took me bowling with his family on his bros b-day (new years day) and we went to the mall with my friends like everyfriday the next week. next time i called him he told me to check my e-mail, so i did i got this (names are changed):
NL, want to have some time just with you. I don't mind having other people most of the time, because two people alone can get boring after a while. But it gets on my nerves when it's almost impossible to get a moment alone with you, y'know?
I don't mean to be demanding, but I think our relationship is going too slow. I love you, but... I'm starting to get bored. It's not a big deal, I just wanted to tell you how I feel.
--boyfriend
so i talked to him, i apoligized and said we could definatly be together more, i liked being alone with him, he made me feel safe and loved, it was great, he was one of only like 3 ppl i trusted. but we ddnt get a chance, the day b4 i had to leave on a camping trip last friday, we had a convo on aim. i told him the convo felt strained, i told him he seemed down. he said, he wanted to just be friends. i asked him y. he said he liked me just ddnt love me and there was no reason to be together. i (stupidly) asked if there was another chick, he said hed nvr do that to me (ddnt think hed do that tho) i asked him if hed lied bout loving me, he said hed thought he did. i dont know how it could all change so drasticly in like a week. oddly, tho i cried at first i dont feel so bad. i think im in denial. i wont let ne one say ne thing bad about him yet. and i dont tell ppl we broke up unless they say somethng bout him. i lov ehim and dont want it to end. and of course every 10 minutes im reminded of him. i guess i'll b ok.
comments????
~NL~
Blog Category: Romance and Relationships
Playing (Music): flyleaf
Current mood: discontent
Added on: 24/01/2007 16:58:35
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porquipine lamp shades
yea random i know, lamp shades? no one comments newayz, im going to play dance dance im excited...!!!!!!!!! g2g diddle lolz
~NL~
btw, the book speak roxorz
Playing (Music): jimmy eat world- polaris
Current mood: contemplative
Added on: 05/01/2007 14:48:20
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shoe vomit
yo, im kinda sad im wasting this awesome subject name on this but its apropraite. im fscking sick and in skool, and everyones being fucking assholes. no i aint gonna wurk, naw i aint gonna wear pants and no thx, i aint gonna b happy when u say ur too busy to get me. i thinki mite vomit on someones shoes just for a laff
~NL~
Playing (Music): in flames-come clarity
Current mood: sick
Added on: 04/01/2007 09:35:13
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if i rustled myself up a life
yo. i'd say happy new year but i dont really like new years so....... im stalking the song work. i didnt even relize that it was a song by boyfriend was talking about until like 30 seconds ago. I just made a kick ass mix, of mellow type songs. My online friend sent me a current pic ^_^.
i want to put some thoughts out here. Why is it that everyone on this site, seems to write about how it sux that ppl judge by aperance, and how ppl need to b individual, and then turn around and be mean and judgemental towards preps? now i aint a prep, but i got a couple prep-like friends, and even tho i aint too hot bout most preps i dont think its fair to be hypocritical can mean at them (i am tho sometimes but i try hard tho)
Also why is everyone so obbsessed with hating the goverment and all up on anarchy? Anarchy is impossible, and instead of randomly hating ur goverment u should find out how it works and do something. (even tho i feel a chick like me would nvr be accepted politicly) why is everone all democratic anti-republican anti-bush? can u give me reasons other than the war? can u explain how we declare war? why is it his fault? i blame partisan power for the corupption in goverment, not just one party.
Im not trying to be mean i just dont understand how people can be so, hypocritical and not have it bother them. Why doesnt everyone analize and think about everything like i do? idk
even tho im frightened ppl of lesser honor will copy heres a poem i wrote (i aint emo i just have always written):
alone in that one place
with no one elses but my own face
a room for me
no formality
and people arent aloud
this is how i see my odd seclusion.
please dont take it
~NL~
Blog Category: Life
Playing (Music): Jimmy eat World
Current mood: contemplative
Added on: 02/01/2007 15:49:19
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