A poem that i LOVE
The Blade tears through the same old Hole
But still I cannot stop
The Anger bleeds from in my soul
The emotional first cut
A Blaze Of Red and sweet Release
Echoes from my nerves
But pain it does not seem to cease
Each night it still returns
An addiction to rely on each long day
When nobody else feels
A lifeline to grab and to help you stay
Within a life filled corpse
A manmade razor not built for this
But to clean a smiling face
Now destroying and cutting the surface
Of a child of the human race
A desire like this cannot be resisted
By those of us with the truthful lives
Implements drag then are twisted
To wrench emotions pain from inside
A heart to shatter and veins to break
But still it hurts less than each breath we must take
People to smile for and laughs to fake
As tears roll down from my eyes
The Sweetest
Silent
Lullaby
Blog Category: Life
Added on: 11/06/2006 17:21:10
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Im sick... i think...help!
I dont know what is wrong.... i think i may have a split personality... i keep havin this girl in my head who calls herself another name...she writes poetry and signs my name to it... she writes me letters.... but she uses my hands....am i sick?
Current mood: depressed
Added on: 01/06/2006 22:12:59
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The Other Side of my Mind
The Other Side of my Mind
I awoke today with tear stained eyes. And began to block out half my mind. I focused on the day ahead but then realized the day was dead. People that surrounded me gave me looks of hopeless defeat. They ushered away words they felt that would offend my gracious welps of defeat and agony. If they only knew what bothered me. They think that I am much to young, they think they are the only ones who know the pain and have felt the jab of haunting thoughts that anything but lack the hurt in me. I can no longer tolerate these feeling of immense hate. So in a hopeless oblivion of fear Ill close my mind and only hear my own dreams of victorious endings of part of me.
Not so very long ago I let you in. I let you in.
And this is how you left me.
Not so very long ago you felt for me, you felt for me.
And for you I fell. cant you remember anything?
Not so very long ago I dreamt of you, I dreamt of you.
In the that dream your memory I killed.
Tomorrow Ill rise again. Ill rise again. My biggest fear since you left is only within myself. I fear to touch the wheel for fear of driving down the lonely road to nowhere. The road where I know I belong, the road that crashes against nothing. I fear to touch the gun for fear of my own forsaking mind that only hears the hurt in me and cant see past what use to be. The side that won't listen to the faint beat of heart thats left in me. There is hope in knowing memories sometimes die.
Not so very long ago I let you in. I let you in.
And this is how you left me.
Not so very long ago you felt for me. You felt for me.
And for you I fell. cant you remeber anything?
Not so very long ago I dreamt of you. I dreamt of you.
in the dream your memory I killed
I dont blame you for what I feel, I only blame this hurting me. This me that I myself do fear. this side of me I cant conltrol this side of me that won't let go. The side of me that just wont die until i take a hold this knife. I must slice away piece my piece your memory. If i want to live I must choose to die. Kill my one my only truthful side. Its like you controled this part of me, the part of me that wont let me sleep. It tells my mind my to just hold on, just sit and wait there by the phone. Youll come back but when you leave I know you'll take BOTH sides of me. Next Time
Blog Category: Quiz/Survey
Current mood: confused
Added on: 01/06/2006 19:36:13
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AARRGGHH
Well the cell phone bill just floated in and im in a heap of trouble! mom pays the phone bill and my textin was through the roof! if she would actually let me fgo and see people i wouldnt have to text people all the time...know what i mean??? anywho then she said i went over my minutes which is impossible because i NEVER talk on my phone. i hate talkin on the phone ...which explains why i use so much texting. Its frickin crazy!!!! Is crazy cuz i never ask for money, i never ask to go many places other than church, so what would it hurt for me to go over on my m essages once a month??? i work a lot around here....i even raised her frickin kid for her.....I dotn think she owes me anything, but hey she could at least not gripe about it...i would be able to pay my own phone bill if she woould pay me for all the work i do....i have totally lost my social life cuz im always at home tending to her kid. I havent been to a party in over two years! AARRGHH it just make me soooo mad.....Im a gang
Playing (Music): Panic! at the disco
Added on: 24/04/2006 15:28:29
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I WANNA PLAY DRUMS
I really really really wanna learnt he durms this summer but my mom is being anal and wont let me go to Georgia and take lessons from my kick ass drum playin cousin! how gay is that?
Playing (Music): Pschyo- SOAD
Added on: 23/04/2006 11:10:46
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