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insomnia sucks for a hypersomniac
so i've been trying to get to sleep since 11:30pm and im getting annoyed. i like to sleep, alot. and i just cant. i lay there and i want to move, but im tired and cant. and im cold so i put a blanket on but its smothering, so i ditch it. then the way im laying its right. and it feels like stuff is crawling on me, and then its like i've got all my hair in my face but i brushed it all back. and my stomache hurts. and im twitching. and i want to read and not read. and my mind wont work or shutdown.
then my sister calls me ofically waking me out of a mild state of almost semi sleep and her mumma interupts and she hasnt called me back. and the worst part is
she rly wants to get back on dope, she wants to feel the feeling of being high, and now that she said that i dont know if i'll ever be able to sleep.
i figure i mite as well keep this going i mean what else can i do i am bored and tired and unable to sleep.
im listening to the offspring on youtube, and picking at the dandriff in my hair, which needs redyed. right now its a rly crappy faded purple oh yip. my other is watching like golden girls or something on lifetime it has betty white in it i think. its ok i gues, but kinda random. i could watch it, but its odd to listen to it and the offspring at the same time. which has just turned into bush and the nanny. wtf is with these bad tv music combos? great now im watching a fly clean itself i am bored.
i was cleanign my room today which was somewhat intresting. i found a shitload of stuff i hadnt seen in ages, mostly old note books and drawings and notes from people i'd rather not remember.
i finished reading Crank to my one friend and am now reading her White Oleander. Im also in the process of reading her The Perks of Being a Wallflower. well im goign to end this seeing as i now have to go find a ziplock baggy for a huge bag of goldfish that my sister opened.
g'nite
~NL~
Blog Category: Life
Playing (Music): random shit on youtube
Current mood: awake
Added on: 09/08/2007 00:18:07
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going insane yet again
so, i rly like him alot, and im willing to lie about his age and evn about how i feel about him jst to b able to c him. im willing to lie about how sane i am and yet let him no evrything. im willing to do things i nvr would before and im willing to be fine with that.
and i know that if it all works out i'll b alot better than i am currently. i know that with him i wont b scared or alone.
but i also know that if it doesnt i could be potentially worse off. and im willing to take that chance.
but it still freaks me out and sometimes i think the ability to fall in love should b geneticly removed at birth.
Blog Category: Life
Playing (Music): the bleeding-five finger death punch
Current mood: anxious
Added on: 07/08/2007 14:26:28
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in new jersey no one can hear u scream
im about to go to NJ for a quick vacation thingie. which rox, since we nvr go newhere but sux cas i dont get to c boner and im goign with my mother. :(
but my friend nate is online and i havent seen him in a hot minute! lol im too excited.
oh and incase noone noticed my new pix my hair is short and purple now lol :)))) <- look its fat!
!NL!
Blog Category: Travel and Places
Playing (Music): drugstore-darkest days
Current mood: missing someone
Added on: 26/07/2007 21:35:49
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with the lights out no one can see the filth
so last night (or acctually early morning 12 am) i went out to the overlook with my friend boner his friend dix (i decided thats how it is spelled evn thouhg its probly not how) and my friend jess. i was rly excited to c boner, since i havent seen him at like all latley. we had some hardcore fun just sitting there. it was nice. (of course evry time meh friend tried to lite up some ppl walked up to tha ovrlook which was funny) it made my day awesome.
neway today i woke up bout an hour ago, and got dressed and now ima go to ingram days down the park.
have fun
i will
~NL~
Blog Category: Life
Playing (Music): no tunes just my mum on tha fone
Current mood: ecstatic
Added on: 21/07/2007 12:17:23
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Gimme a shot of lysol, i'll be fine
right so what kid you know tries ta feel better by drinkin some house hold cleaners? i mean for ggwa sake theres better ways to kill urself and my gosh if ur depressed grab some hard liquor, not some goshdamn windex, i mean rly tho. so mini is bak with geri for the 3rd time, and im slightly annoyed. i mean if shes gotta be a slut could she do it somewhere else. i mean shes a nice kid but i dont like her.
so latley i've been really missing my old boyfriend, which is just as self destructive as mini getting back with geri, but i mean at least he can get back together my pathetic ass is all alone. and i really really REALLY, miss him. which is stupid cas if u evr met him u wouldnt think he was all that great.
so today i got up fairly late (1:30) woken up by the screams of my super bitchy sister, cas my mother thought i was sleeping too much. which is bullshit since evry fucking day of the school year im jerked awake at fuckin 5-6 am so i can get to my gawddamn highschool by 7am. holyfuck i should do cyberschool. ne way then i come downstairs and attempt to find something to eat, then my mom comes home and bitches. then my sister decides that i am not welcome because she is busy hanging out with MY friends. so i unsuccesfully do my makeup, and call my father, around 5:40pm and he goes i'll call u bak in a few minutes, so at 6:30 i call him bak like wtf? and he goes i'll call u bak. so at 7:00 he calls and goes i'll get u in a half hour. but by then my mum is being such a bitch i call him and im like omfggwa get my now, but my mum calls him bak to say that he shouldnt take me out cas i have stuff to do, at this point i get pissed and leave the house, to go up to the corner to wait since my pops always drives that way to my crib. finaly he coems and drives me bak home to do my chores. then at like 10 after 8 i call him like get me!! he comes and at like 9 we get to his apartment so he can build his new bed, then at like 9:30 we go get my bro and go to eat i get home at 11pm. only to find out minis bak with her, and max is drinking cleaner. great day. oh wait i lied, my day blew.
~NL~
Blog Category: Life
Playing (Music): seether
Current mood: crappy
Added on: 18/07/2007 21:53:03
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