The PseudoBlog
Hahaha i love the categories they have on this thing.
I guess this post is about life.
I have no doubt that half the world isn't as wise as it should be and the rest knows nothing at all. I fall somewhere in there, although over the last couple of years I've been trying to decide whether I even exist or not, or whether reality exists or not.
Existential crisis anyone? I guess majoring in Philosophy doesn't help with that does it? meh!
We have mice right now, they somehow got in through the garage so I haven't really slept well the last few days. We caught a couple so far and we don't know if there are more, although I won't stop putting a towel under my door before I go to sleep just in case; by we I mean me and my parents. I live at home. Could've moved out but my anxiety stopped me. I think it's a little late for teenage angst to kick in now, but better late than never.
I don't know what else to say, I mean I have no audience to write for, and I suppose that affects what I say a lot. I don't mean it in the sense that my story will change or anything, it's just a matter of knowing what to talk about. What are you interested in? I'm interested in reading stuff that's exciting and relatable, but then again I can just listen to my stream of consciousness in my own head instead of putting it here. That's not very exciting at all.
You know what else is unexciting? university. Fo' shizzle. Well it's stressful and I haven't had a vacation in 2 years. Partly the reason my mother is deciding to drag me to warm places for spring break. I'd love to go y'know. I recognize that many people would be happy to be in university and stressed and be 'dragged' on vacation. I should be happy. But then there's the matter that I have intense panic attacks on all forms of transportation (subway(which i have to take to school and back every day), cars, planes). uh? well it won't be so bad, only a 5 hour flight. I figure if I hyperventilate and pass out I won't wake up for a while. No, I'm being pessimistic. I do that.
I really hate myself, but in a sort of loving way. Who doesn't?
Every time I go to my therapist I seem to always be improving with the anxiety, but I still feel the same. I don't get it. It's like she gets me to confess somehow that things are better, when in fact they are just different.
Me ME Me MEEEEE! stupid individualistic society that promotes narcissism! for the record I care a lot more about other people, it's just that I can't speak for them... that sounds strange. nevermind.
bye
Blog Category: Life
Playing (Music): fridge humming
Current mood: cold
Added on: 17/01/2008 17:34:23
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